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BINGO'S SONG
(to the tune of "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story)
by Pam Green, copyright 1993
Have you met my big black dog, Bingo?
He's got a little problem or two.
It's something not lyric to sing, oh !
It's something he does with his doo.
He smells ghastly, he smells loathsome.
He smells loathsome, disgusting , and vile !
It's unwholesome :
Copraphagia has spoiled his smile !
la, la, la, la, la
You can tell he's coming from a mile away
Except against a strong counter-wind.
You can tell he's there in the night or day,
And you'll notice the sin that he's sinned !
He's appalling, he's alarming.
He's abhorrent, aberrant, and weird !
It's not charming :
Copraphagia has soiled his beard !
la, la, la, la, la
See the big black Bouvie at the farmhouse door,
The one with the shit-eating grin.
Though he begs to enter and his eyes implore,
Do you wonder we don't ask him in ?
He smells shitty, oh so shitty.
He's a dismal, disgusting disgrace!
It's not pretty :
When he offers kisses towards your face!
He smells shitty, oh so shitty.
That our city has banned him from town :
They've banned smoking, nuclear weapons,
And his shit-streaked frown.
What a hoot!
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