I see it now! The tractor is pulling a plough. Charlotte Church, luscious, lovely, lascivious, lewd, is standing proud and naked on the plough, with a whip. Two enormous dalmatians are trotting beside the plough. The tractor is flying an enormous flag with the IVT logo on it. DE is in the driving seat, wearing something fluttery in green silk. They are on a hilltop on the West coast of Ireland, the rugged coastline in the background, the ruddy light from setting sun glancing off Charlotte's features. Two teletubbies are sitting on the tractor's bonnet, two more are riding the dalmations. In the foreground, the members of St. Winnifred's girls' school choir are playing with some fluffy white rabbits.
Ahead of the tractor, a magnificent pale horse, an Arab stallion, walks proudly on the soft earth.
Off screen, Max Clifford and the pope are discussing their golf handicap and how they will direct the advertising revenue.
I really should have worked in the advertising industry.
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