The FOOTY and FOOD BANTER thread

Bring thru some of your youth players like the rest of us do you cunt!!!

Scruffy moaning Porto cunt MAY BE READY TO SPEND


Scruffy moaning Porto cunt has raised the prospect of another Cuntski spending spree by declaring: "I am down to my last 16 outfield players."

The Stamford Bridge chief has clearly indicated in recent weeks that he would probably not be entering the January sales, but after Didier Dogbag's stuttering performance in the slightly streaky win at Portsmouth where co-striker Mateja Cuntzman was not even on the substitutes' bench, things could change.

Arjen Robben and substitute Joe Cole both scored to notch Cuntski's win after Pompey's belligerence and guts had matched the Barclays Premiership leaders' guile for most of the way.

But Scruffy moaning Porto cunt admitted: "With (Celestine) Babayaro and (Scott) Parker both injured I have just 16 outfield players. That is not many.

"We have had to play two matches in three days which is foreign to many of them and although I understand the traditions of football here at this time of year, it is not good for your health to do it.

"You can sit back and smoke cigars, one after another, and it is a good life, but it is not actually good for you."

The Portuguese European Cup winner would not comment on whether he will utilise more of Cuntski owner Roman Abramovich's vast fortune on strengthening an already talent-laden squad.

But, let's face it, Cuntski's bill for new players since the Russian oil billionaire took over is already pushing £180 million, and they can buy almost anybody they want.

Tuesday's win put Cuntski eight points clear of Arsenal at the top and they have lost only once, way back in mid-October at Manchester City, but apart from Babayaro's hamstring and Parker's broken metatarsal, there is Ricardo Carvalho's fractured foot.

And there is a new if slight doubt now over kingpin defender John Terry, who seemed to damage a groin muscle early in the second half. He lasted to the finish and Scruffy moaning Porto cunt insisted: "He is just tired after two games in three days. Now he can rest until we play Scouse Cunts on Saturday."

But Ivory Coast striker Dogbag's uninspiring comeback from a groin operation is the biggest problem - especially as Scruffy moaning Porto cunt has never replaced banned drug-abuser Adrian Mutu.

He said: "We know we have to be patient with Dogbag. Steve Clarke (assistant coach) had the same operation in his career and says it might feel like it is better but often it is not completely and you need more time. We will try to give him this."

Dogbag missed 10 games through electing to have the surgery in October and was not sharp enough to take two good chances against Pompey. It was only when he was taken off for the last 30 minutes that Cuntski took some kind of charge.

Goalkeeper Petr Cech saved them with a spectacular leap to keep out a swerving long-range drive by Nigel Quashie in the first 20 minutes and Aiyegbeni Yakubu had a goal ruled out for a foul.

But Robben, the Dutch flyer who made such an opening impact to his Premiership career with four goals in four games, emerged from a personally quiet afternoon to ram in an 81st-minute opener, courtesy of a deflection off Matthew Taylor's knee that confounded goalkeeper Shaka Hislop.

And Pompey were then vulnerable to a second two minutes into stoppage time, Cole capitalising on determined work by Eidur Gudjohnsen, another sub, to find the target with unerring accuracy.

Pompey coach Joe Jordan, who saw Arsenal pick his pocket nine days earlier with a late Sol Campbell goal, reckons the title race is between the two London teams.

He said: "RedübercuntsfromSurrey PLC, my old club, are good enough to beat either of them as they have shown, but I don't think either Cuntski or Arsenal will make enough mistakes at this stage to let United catch them.

"We have all seen eight or even 10-point leads disappear but United need more consistency. Arsenal are a fantastic side and can still trouble Cuntski but like them they were fortunate to beat us here. It was a little harsh, especially 2-0.

"You can analyse a match and then suddenly it turns on one thing. Shaka had Robben's shot covered but the deflection off Matty Taylor's knee changed everything."