This chap is walking along a residential road in Surrey. He sees a sign in front of a well kept house near Guildford: "Talking Dog for Sale".
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden.
The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"Do you talk?" the man asks.
"Sure do." replies the dog.
"So, what's your story?" asks the man.
The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking pretty young. I decided I would like to put my talent to good use so I offered to help the government. I told MI5 about my gift, who thought the idea was a no-brainer. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running." The dog continued, "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I’d thought about it for a while and decided that I really wanted to settle down. So I managed to get a pay off from the Government for all my hard work and then signed up for a job at London Heathrow Airport, working for Customs & Excise and also to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in etc. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of medals. I then found myself a nice wife in the drug sniffing dog team, settled down, had a few puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The bloke listening was absolutely amazed. He rushed back in and asks the owner how much he wants for his talented dog.
The owner says, "Ten quid."
The bloke says, "Ten Quid??!! This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a damn liar. A bad example to my own kids. He's never done any of that stuff !"
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