SHARES STRONGLY UP/DOWN this week 26/12/05 (Master RSI)

The Sunday Times January 01, 2006

Prufrock: A Vardy own goal?
EDITED BY LOUISE ARMITSTEAD

FIRST it was Chelsea, then Manchester United, and now Aston Villa. Could Sunderland be next in the line of English football clubs to be snapped up by an excitable businessman? The Black Cats, rooted as they are to the bottom of the Premiership, might not be able to attract foreign billionaires such as Roman Abramovich, Malcolm Glazier or even the Irish consortium bidding for Aston Villa at the moment, but they do have the advantage of having fans that have “done good” for themselves.
Take Sir Peter Vardy, for example. The car-dealer tycoon, who was raised in Sunderland, stands to collect about £75m from the sale of his stake in the Reg Vardy car company that was founded by his father. Now I am told that he is considering spending it on the Black Cats.

The firm already has a close association with the Black Cats — Reg Vardy is the club’s shirt sponsor.

Vardy junior might have enough to buy it, but perhaps a sticking point is the considerable amount of cash needed to maintain such a trophy asset. Most of the readies pumped into a football club disappear with frightening speed into the back pockets of the players, a phenomenon that Sir Alan Sugar famously dubbed the “prune-juice economics” of football.

Sunderland is often talked about as a sleeping giant with loads of potential. But I fear it will take more than Vardy’s millions to make the club great again.

Scandals, shocks, facial hair and a lot of balls

FOR Prufrock it has been another year of parties, laughs, revelations, investigations and bust-ups. Here are some highlights, The first run-in of the year was with Mohamed al-Fayed. My quest to understand why the Egyptian grocer kept firing Harrods managers led to revelations about his tantrums, jealousies, continued bloodletting and his use of Harrods as a private piggy bank. In return I got several tons of legal letters, a writ and a court case set for March.

Another long-running saga exploded when, in April, I suggested that Regal Petroleum was just puff. Investors and PR men reacted furiously even when the company’s Greek wells were declared dry and hijacked by riggers. Then I warned that problems with its Ukrainian assets were about to emerge. Even so, chairman Frank Timis was charming throughout. When I bumped into him in Annabel’s nightclub he kissed me and said: “You f****d me, you f****d my company. But you look nice.”

Others were less gracious. They included Tory bigwig Ken Clarke, who decided to fight shareholders in Savoy rather than admit he is not an independent chairman; Stephen Lumb, the flash buddy of Vincent Tchenguiz who failed to pay his bills; and, more recently, the array of characters involved in Langbar, the cash shell which, as we said all along, has never had any cash.

No less bizarre was the story that Howard Cohen, former director of bust furniture retailer Courts, had started a new career as a cycling handyman. Then there was news that Sir Richard Branson was funding and starring in a new film about vibrators and that the face of RBS’s television advertising campaign was a lap-dancer who was then arrested for credit-card fraud.

In a testament to our sense of style, we fully backed the removal of the goatee of Trevor Bish-Jones, boss of Woolworths.

Prufrock also covered the best parties, from the 50th of Icap’s Michael Spencer in St Tropez and the CBI’s Sir Digby Jones’s at Blenheim Palace, the ebullience of the Ark dinner and Sir Elton John’s White Tie and Tiara ball to Sir Rod Eddington’s retirement do at BA.

Roll on 2006.

Langbar and the Pearson value riddle

ONE of many bizarre aspects of the scandal at Langbar International is that Stuart Pearson, the former chairman of the cashless cash shell, presented himself as an improvement in corporate governance.

Virtually the first thing Pearson did when he clambered aboard Langbar last June was to start buying up his other businesses. First up was Langbar Capital, a firm that had started trading only eight months earlier, and whose principal asset was £116,000 of goodwill created from buying the services of one Stuart Pearson. As vendors, Pearson and his wife received 2m shares — then thought to be worth more than £4m.

Next up was Real Affinity, a troubled marketing firm chaired by Pearson that had been forced to lay off staff to ease its financial difficulties. Real Affinity’s results on Friday revealed a thumping loss. Just why did Pearson try to buy Real Affinity for £2.6m? The deal never went through — but only because Pearson stumbled across an alleged £350m fraud at Langbar.

IT may have been a disappointing Christmas for most retailers, but not for Prince Charles. Once lampooned for chatting to his plants, Britain’s poshest shopkeeper is now letting his plants — and his profits — do the talking.
Duchy Originals, the prince’s organic food brand, has made pre-tax profits of more than £1m for the second year running, according to documents recently filed at Companies House.

The new chairman of the firm, Andrew Cosslett, said sales were growing at 14% and were worth £38m. Most of the cash goes to one of the prince’s charities, and donations have now topped £4m.

This year looks set to be even better with the recent launch of Duchy Selections, a range of shampoo and beauty products to add to the milk, meat and chocolates.

DESPITE his flair in business and sport, there were few better places to admire the indomitable Kerry Packer than at the gaming tables. The great Aussie billionaire, who died last week, often gambled away millions. But it wasn’t just his wealth that was fabulous. In the middle of one heavy session at Crockfords, the exclusive Mayfair casino, Packer demanded a burger for sustenance.
The order was barked down to the kitchens, where the team of top chefs set about creating a culinary masterpiece. But when it arrived, along with its exquisite garnish, Packer took one look and said: “Nah. I wanted a proper burger ... from McDonald’s.”

The waiter, in full Crockfords livery, duly trotted down to the Golden Arches, queued and returned to present the Big Mac Meal with as much aplomb as he could muster.