Langbar International

Rumour has it that marksp will be carrying Buchler's bags and that grahamite2 will be crouching beneath him, on all fours, to provide a footrest, in the manner previously reserved for David Gower.

As with numerous other companies, shareholder perks are to be distributed to attendees at the AGM.The "welcome pack" will contain, inter alia:

1 Facsimiles of the "International Certificates of Deposit". Unfortunately,
Langbar has had to pay large royalties to J-P Regli for reproducing these,
as he holds the copyright.

2 A blow-up Stuart Pearson complete with a digitally synthesised recording of
him saying, in a Stuart Hall madcap voice, "I won't be apolgising for
anything - and I have NOT brought the name of my neighbouring village into
disrepute; and nor do I remember going to Argentina - why would I do that?
Langbar never held any assets there!"

3 A replica Nigel Smith polyester suit, from 1983, as still worn by the great
man today.

4 A photograph and family tree of Wolfgang Menzel, together with his medical
records, evidencing that he has never been in anything but the best of
health.

5 A therapeutic video by Rivka Meier, entitled "Re-writing history; how to
achieve it in practise(sic)"

6 Copies of DB Consultants' invoices to LGB, with the figures obliterated.

I could go on..........

TAI