DO POP IN PUB. ALL ARE WELCOME

FFP
Nearly 3 yrs ago we had a week's hol in Dublin. The day before we left I went into our city centre to buy a couple of items of clothing. As I was about to enter M & S there was a loud splattering noise followed by the sounds of giggling females. I was covered with seagull shite and it was minging. I walked home, turning around and walking backwards everytime someone was walking towards me, got into the house and put all my clothing into the washing m/c. Shitehawk is not a term of endearment and if the farming community can come up with a way to eradicate the b*st*rds I would welcome it. Everytime I go to a picturesque Cornish village and Northerners are throwing Rick Stein's overcooked chips to feed them I pray that they'll get splattered. Unfortunately there seems to be an unwritten code between seagulls that they only shite on locals. Finally, I always remember when I was about 15 and bought a Mars Bar. I was walking along the road, unwrapped it and took a bite. It was the only bite because seagull shite landed on the rest, along with my hand.