if you hear a flapping noise behiend you it will be the men in white coats.
I must be quite honest,i begin to fear that you are losing your grip on reality,brought on,i think,by the constant losses.
I think you shouldn't dabble in shares when clearly you know so little about them.I also think that your mounting losses are probably causing stress and monetary problems in other areas of your life.
Do the sensible thing and get help.Try and stay cheerful.See a debt counsellor,try to get the bank to extend your credit.Don't lose heart.
But the one piece of advice i would like to give you(and it's much more important than all the rest put together)is Try not to be such a Twat.